Yesterday night I went yamcha with a secondary school friend. This is the guy I used to whack on the head with my uber thick Bio textbook, because he called me turkey in school. To be honest, I also called him Polar in return, cos, well, retaliation is fun. He's one of those maniac drivers you read about, the kind who hurtle through highways at speeds of up to 170km/j and the ones who don't hit the brakes when they turn a corner. Obviously, I'm taking a huge risk whenever I step into his car, but I never mention it while he's driving. You don't poke a bear when it's holding the keys to the rapidly-submerging cage that you're trapped inside, duh.
His insanity has nothing to do with me and my bio textbook. He was just born like that.
As I was waiting for him to get to my house, it occured to me that it was really very sweet of him to drive from Yulek (where he lives) to my place, and then back to Yulek for our drinks again. I also love him for being punctual with me after I screamed at him once for making me wait at the bus-stop. Alone. The screaming was completely justified, thank you.
When we got out of his car, I noticed that he was wearing a t-shirt that was the exact same shade of red as the polo t I was wearing. What's more, we were both wearing the exact same bootcut jeans, and they were in the exact same shade of, uh, washed blue!
I told him about my upcoming 3 month break and asked for suggestions on how to earn as much money as I can in the shortest time. He suggested selling beer to horny old men, which, I admit, is an idea I've also entertained before. After I agreed with him, he looked at me over his drink and said, "But I don't think you can do it lor."
"Why wor? Doubting my sweet-talk ability meh? I know I don't talk much, but when the situation calls for it, I can one ler!"
"No, it's not your mouth. It's your body. No tits, no hourglass figure, who want to buy from you?"
"I got leftover kam from CNY. Maybe can put those in my bra."
"Wah, so long liao still got kam? Your family weird one ah? I finsh one crate by myself you know? But yes, that's a good idea."
"Sadly hor, my bra not big enough to fit a kam inside. How?"
"You stay at home and sleep better la."
Thanks to constant ribbing from him and a few other secondary school guy friends, I've completely gotten over the utter suckage of not having a chest. In consolation, I have legs that go on forever and pretty nice ass.
It's funny how I never really developed any close relationships after I left secondary school. Almost every single one of the people who can really claim to know me are either related by blood or are people from my alma mater. It's hard to take things at face value now, especially after my stint at APIIT, where all manner of despicable slugs reside.
Oh, he also suggested that I start smoking to get more friends. When smokers go on a smoke break, they have to talk in between breaths, so that's a nice little common denominator. If I didn't know him that well, I would've thought he really cared about my social life, as opposed to wanting to paw off a free stick or two if I had my own pack.
And I found out that a friend actually went and named herself Swallow Cheong, cos her name has 'yen' in it, which means swallow (the bird) in Chinese. She's either very naive or has a wicked sense of humour, cos all that name's gonna do for her is inspire a lot of ribald ribbing.
In the end, we caught up on a lot of stuff, including but not limited to: our schedules, the utter banality of our daily routines, the complete non-existence of anything even resembling a sex life, etc. I found out that a friend was sleeping with his neighbour because he misses his ex-gf (guy logic. I don't pretend to understand, I just nod along). He found out that some of our classmates were gay. I found out one of our classmates was rumoured to be prostituting herself. He also told me about the time he was almost raped by his big-titted colleague.
"You'd have been lucky!" I pealed with laughter.
I also found out that I'm one of the girls predicted to be a virgin at the age of 30. It's supposed to be some sort of pathetic label. It obviously has an effect on me. :p
After that, a few other guys friends (all smokers) dropped by and as we sat there chatting while munching chips, it was almost like BM class again. I suppose the whole outing was worth shortening my already-very-short lifespan by about 2 years.
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9 comments:
tell me about it. i just returned from a yam cha session and i think my lifespan was shorten by a coupla years, too. i hate it when people smoke with any regard to people around them - i mean wtf man, just don't exhale or blow the smoke into other people's face lah. but heck lah - they were all my close friends (who don't smoke always - casual), so i didn't bloody sound them. a few was considerate enough to face somewhere else when they exhale from a puff.
without* any
At first I thought why in the world does she want to name herself after a bird, but when you said she'll get constant ribbing, I looked at the name Swallow a second time before I started laughing! XD ADUIII!!! I can already imagine somebody calling: "Swallow! Swallow!" and another saying: "Swallow apa??" Bwahaha!
Haha! I know a guy who drives like your friend. I declared to him that I would only sit in his car if I really, really have to.
Its great to catch up with old friends and learn what they have been doing.
I don't think there's anything wrong with being virgin at the age of 30. But that just my opinion ;-)
Nvm lah. 30 years old is not too bad :P
Oh and the Swallow thing...aiyo!
"He's one of those maniac drivers you read about, the kind who hurtle through highways at speeds of up to 170km/j and the ones who don't hit the brakes when they turn a corner."
Wow. That sounds like me. Except we have a lot more open land to crash and burn here in Canada, I think. And snowbanks. Lots of snowbanks.
Not to say I've hit any. I'm a very safe driver, except for the whole speed thing. =)
Interesting name your friend has. I actually think that's quite hilarious. We could use more people with such senses of humour.
Smoking... ahh. We have this crazy law here where you can't smoke indoors anywhere. It's a good law, really, I don't have to deal with second-hand smoke (though I do smoke socially on occasion, so it doesn't bother me much) everywhere I go...
But it's also a terrible thing. Bars no longer smell like smoke. People have to leave their cozy seat at the bar (at which point they'll lose said comfy seat to a 400 lbs. man for whom smoking is the least of problems) and stand outside in the terrible weather blowing winds when it's already a good twenty below without the windchill.
Those people are likely to lose more off their life from standing in the cold than from smoking. Sure, it saves a few people their lungs (if they go to bars all the time, I'd worry more about their livers... or mine, at that)... but bars lose all their character.
It's rather shameful. Sometimes smoking is a *good* thing, in certain locations.
And certainly, as with everything, not in excess.
(a lesson I have yet to learn!)
@Narrowband:
Don't like cigarette smoke also, but what to do, smoking is alright everywhere, so have to live with it ler. My friends and I have a tacit understanding: if they blow smoke in my face I will flick my straw with chocolate milkshake on it at their direction. Expensive branded polo shirt habis. *grins*
@Applegal:
Heh, I have en exceptionally dirty mind sometimes. Don't think I'm going to tell her about it to her face though... ;)
@IBlogMe:
How old is he? If he's 24 maybe it's his elder brother. :p
Thankfully, I like living dangerously. It's either that or drive myself, heheh, and I don't like driving.
@Adam:
I don't see either, but then you know secondary school kids la, all juvenile one. *grins*
@Res:
On the bright side, maybe I'll be dead at 30. Comforting thought, eh? :D
@Banjo:
I think Swallow Cheong thought she was being clever by incorporating her Chinese name with her Christian name. God it sucks to be her. Pun totally intended. *grins*
Note to self: don't go to pubs in Canada.
Go weed + beer!! :)
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