Day 1:
Hum-drum boring stuff, visiting relatives I haven't seen since, well, the last CNY. Endured the standard wah-so-tall! routine from grinning relatives sweating in chinese-style red RED clothes. These people actually wear them by choice. On the other hand, I don't stick out like a sore thumb. Or maybe I do, on account of the pukey greenness.

Day 2:
More visiting, cheers. At least we got to gamble here, and won about RM5. We were entertaining the younger kids who only bet 10 sen. God, the good old days when I used to make 10 sen wagers. Food sucked, went home and cooked maggi. Mom said we made her feel guilty, so note to self is to stuff face next year even though it's killing me.

Day 3:
Got drunk. Don't remember much.

Day 4:
Went to youngest auntie's house. Her super husband (who can build rattan sofa sets from scratch, knock down walls, replaster them professionally with cement, cook a mean steak, drink like 10 sailors, fix doors, make firecrackers) cooked dinner for the entire clan, which comes up to about 20 people. Roughly. The menu was varied, from chicken maryland to lamb chops with lime sauce to fish and chips to juicy steaks. And they were GOOD.

I had 1 serving of lamb chops with lime sauce, 1 grilled prawn platter, 1 standard grilled lamb chop and 3 bites of steak from my 2nd aunt's plate. It would be prudent to note that almost everyone had second servings, so I'm not really as gluttonous as that first sentence sounds. The food was really good. Also moonlighted as a waitress cos uncle couldn't keep track of the orders. As a result of my good deed, I managed to stop a covert attempt to hijack my prawns (they were very limited), and I got unlimited supply of Heineken cos the bottles were right in the kitchen, whoohoo!

After-dinner entertainment consisted of playing contraband firecrackers. Heineken bottles are good for sticking rockets in so that you don't blow off your fingers. C'mon, common sense. Mild excitement ensued when my cousin brother threw one of those bomb-like thingies and it rolled almost under a neighbour's car. Everyone survived, including the car. Uncle bought one of those huge containers of fireworks that cost RM50, and it went off like those RM3 million fireworks display. Beautiful.

Spent the rest of the night drinking warm Heineken and playing Blackjack. Finally found uncle's Achilles heel: he cannot gamble to save his life. Have taken to calling him Choi San Yeh.

Day 5:
Bro kacau-kacaued and convinced my mom to gamble money while playing mahjong. I don't gamble money in mahjong cos I like to keep my cards and make sets even though I can win by chi-ing the numbered tiles. Which translates to: if I play money I will lose. Big time.

Since it was the oaf who suggested it, I figured I can afford to lose 10 bucks. Surprisingly I was the big winner, muahahaha. Lesson in life #76: no skill nevermind. Nothing beats pure luck. Lesson in life #77: luck is fickle. Do not gamble.

Went to maternal uncle's house at night. Stuffed face with more prawns, yum yum.

Scribbles:
Choi San Yeh -- God of Prosperity. Has something to do with money.
Mahjong -- Chinese gambling game with ivory tiles. If you don't understand me then you're probably not a player, and mahjong cannot be explained here if I want to keep this under 1k words.

I love my youngest auntie and her husband. They're like uber cool. They have a fridge upstairs that holds nothing but beer and wine. Read that sentence again. How cool is that? Uncle is also very easy-going and generous, auntie's funny. Haha funny. I've never spent such an enjoyable time in a relative's house before. Lesson in life #98: alcohol is the ultimate cure-all. With enough alcohol, world hunger and the Middle East can be easily kau timed.