Honest tunes

At times like this I'm thankful that I have people in my life who're honest with me. You know, the kind who'll tell you straight to your face that your ass looks big, you smell bad especially in the underarm area, or that you're not a particularly likeable person.

Oh wait, that's me.

My friends and family are generally more tactful than just to blurt out what they're thinking. Considering how long I've been with some of them, you figure some of that should have rubbed off on me by now.

Anyway, I'm glad I have a few friends who're honest enough with me to tell me when my bum looks big in that skirt I like sooooooo much. I'm-

THIS PROGRAM IS INTERRUPTED TO BRING YOU AN
IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

To the males who’re not aware of this, certain pants/skirts DO in fact make our derrieres bigger than they seem. Sometimes it's the fabric, sometimes it's the pattern on the fabric, and sometimes it's just the fact that the piece of clothing is so badly made that it doesn't hug where it should hug.

"Does my ass look big?" is not a question we like to toss out just to make you sweat.

Okay, so some women like to place landmines where they know your foot is going to land, but I am definitely not one of them. And you should totally trust me. Muahahahaha.

WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING

I'm glad that my brother thinks he's big enough to be safe from me when he tell me I 'look weird' in some clothes I choose to wear before I leave the confines of my home. Erm, actually, he is big enough that my puny little fists won't hurt him much, but that's not the point. I'm also glad my friends can tell me that they think I'm out of line when I really am, which, I am sad to confess, happens quite often. It appears I have no sense of propriety. I should be really popular with the guys. ;)

Of course, it hurts to hear that the hairdo you like so much really makes you look like a cat died on top of your head, or that the outfit you spent 2 hours coordinating looks like something one of those tacky J-pop artistes would wear, but on the upside, these are things you'd rather hear while you're still within safe territory (ie home). It'll be three times worse to have people snicker at you when you're walking along in Midvalley, blissfully unaware that the stripey knee socks you love so much actually make you look like an Ah Lian. (yes, I do like stripey knee socks, but I will never wear them in public)

So back to the point. Most of all, I'm happy that my best friends will say "I think he's really not worth it," when I'm doing something I'm not supposed to be doing. Like pining away for a guy who doesn't even realise that I exist, or waiting for days for him to send me a sign that he's still alive, or sending 4 SMSes to him with nary a reply from the other end, or scrawling "I'm gay! Call me!" in male toilets with his phone number below, or calling his stand-up parents with an Ah Lian accent and telling them I'm pregnant with his kid. You know, normal stuff girls do when they're slighted and/or bored.

In the above paragraph, 'He' doesn't really refer to the same guy. Scary, innit? ;)

Sometimes when you're thinking of pursuing a relationship with a completely inappropriate guy who's just gonna take you on a joyride that's the opposite of joy, you need to have some close friends and family, the very people you'll actually listen to, to kick some sense into your otherwise-usually-very-rational self. What can I say, sometimes feelings can make you go bonkers.

It's completely okay for you to make a fool of yourself, and everyone has to make a fool of themselves once in a while. Just preferably not in public where everyone can gawk at you and where you'll forever be branded as the girl on the frat house mattress. In addition to helping you hide bodies, that's also what good friends are for.

To wake you up when you're about to sleepwalk over a cliff, blissfully unaware of the perils that are usually associated with dropping off a high-altitude area.

Namely, splat!

Notes:
Post triggered by reading an article in the Star about women who don't get it when the men they're interested in aren't interested in them.