November 30, 2004

Reflections

I'm grateful to my parents for paying for my higher education, and for supporting me since I was born, not only giving me the things I need, but the things I want as well.

I'm grateful to my parents for never laying the guilt on me. Whatever guilt I feel now is because I understand what my parents went through when I was still a kid, not because they keep reminding me how much they did for me. It's when people do things for me without telling me that I get really KOed inside.

I'm grateful to my parents for making sure there's enough food in the fridge that I can choose what to have for my lunch, and for stocking the fridge with fruits so that we don't die of constipation.

I'm grateful to my parents for letting me go shopping with their money, and for giving me a credit card and trusting that I will not overspend.

I'm grateful to my parents for sometimes cleaning my room, even though it doesn't really look very messy to me.

I'm grateful to my parents for dropping things to pick me up when I'm stranded someplace, and for driving me out to places that I want to go even though I have my driver's license.

I'm grateful to my parents for worrying about my wellbeing at all times, and for getting less sleep than me when I'm sick cos they keep getting up to check on me. (doesn't help that my immune system is lousy. Conked from too many courses of antibiotics, bleh)

I'm grateful to my parents for not loving me any less because I was impatient with them and used a snappy tone of voice when speaking to them. I’m guilty of taking people for granted.

I'm grateful to my granma for cooking our meals, and for trying to make sure we get all the nutrition we need.

My granma nags me to drink more water, eat more fruits, don't eat maggi mee, wear more conservative clothes and to get my ears pierced. I don't like it when she compares me with other, prettier girls and never praises me for my achievements, but then again just because someone doesn't love me the way I want them to love me doesn't mean they don't love me at all.

When my relationship with my ex ended, I was hurting inside, but I think my parents hurted more.

I was tickled to receive an SMS from my mom saying that they were proud of me and my brother because we got good results. I'm realistic enough to know that I didn't outwork anyone to get the results that I got. Everything that I have now was given to me.

Back when I was a kid, I used to ask my mom what she wanted me to become when I grew up. She always told me to be whatever I wanted to be. At that time, all my friends' parents told them what to do, so I was mightily pissed at my mom for not wanting her daughter to do anything. It was only in the last few years of my life that I understood what she really meant.

Whatever wrong decisions I make, and however low I may end up in life, I know for sure that there will always be support from my family, and I am thankful for that.

I'm thankful to my parents for showing me what unconditional love really means.

Note:
I put this here in case I meet an untimely death, so that one of you can show this to my parents.

Hmmm...Is there such a thing as a timely death?