Sometimes, dating couples have no idea whether they're still 'just friends' or have graduated to become 'boyfriend-girlfriend'. When a man and a woman have been together for a while, what distinguishes friend-behavior and lover-behavior? Who decides the status of the relationship?
Ahem. How Sex-And-The-City is that? *grins*
Ok, seriously, while at the salon today, I got a phone call from my friend. Since the stylist has finished my hair and was working on my granma's perm, I decided to happily yak on the phone while my granma was chatting to another auntie there.
My friend has been dating this guy for a few months, and while they've been doing the usual couple-ly things like holding hands and trading saliva, she wasn't exactly sure of the footing of their relationship, cos, well, she overheard her guy tell his friend that they were 'just friends'.
I don't really think I'm the person to come for relationship advice, since I've been in a funk for 4 years (and counting), but this was what we yakked about for half an hour. She didn't know what to do, since to her they're officially dating (hence the kissing) but to him they're just friends, and apparently kissing is what he does with his regular girl friends.
After approximately 25 minutes of fretting, she asked me what I would do if I were in her place. Hmm, this is kinda hard.
"Maybe you could try asking him?" sez I.
Horrified, she responded, "I can't do that!"
"Why not?"
"Well, because." She paused, "I'm a girl."
"So'm I, but I would ask him if he were my boyfriend."
"...I can't."
"What do you wanna do then?"
"I dunno."
"Ok. I just think it'd be easier to find out once and for all than spend about RM5 to call me from your handphone and worry about this."
"It's about 15 bucks, silly."
We then got sidetracked and said goodbye after another 3 minutes of enquiring after one another and setting a lunch date for tomorrow.
After the phone call I got to thinking about why it's not done to just ask. I mean, if there's something you don't understand, you ask. Obviously not everyone is as crazy as I am, but that doesn't mean you should just sit around and wait for some clarification that might not even come. Chiefly because I think the guy's not telepathic and wouldn't know what my friend was thinking, but still, even if he is, I'd ask. Wait, scrap that, that doesn't make any sense.
Anyway, I dunno. I'd just rather know once and for all than be flung into a state of limbo, wondering and worrying about what other people are thinking, eventually vexing myself to a point where I start gnawing the sofa armrests. Not good for my teeth, and not good for my wellbeing, on account of my mom yelling and all that.
So I have no idea how much handphone calls cost. But I'll know why my boyfriend thinks we're still 'just friends' even after he groped my ass. Ass-groping that's not followed by a knee to the groin is strictly reserved for significant others only.
6 comments:
Simple rule when it comes to guys. I've posted it before on my blog ( http://hyelbaine.blogspot.com/2004/10/mens-rules-our-turn.html item no.1) :P We guys are oblivious to hints, in between lines, mind reading and everything associated with these ESP like traits more commonly found in women.
If you need to know something from a guy, just ask! Serious. We men are very objective and very bottom-line people ;)
Cheers!!! :D
I think it's the 'games' people play. Like if you get someone's phonenumber you have to wait [insert number] days before calling, and stuff like that. Fear of rejection or fear of embarassment, I can never tell, but it happens.
To hell with pride and face, just stumble headlong through it all, muahahahaha. Eep.
Telling is definitely better whether you are a guy or a girl. There is no point in pining over something and expecting things to fall on the lap. Because chances are it wont.
oh for crying out loud.. just ask! Stop these jedi mind trickgames :P Most guys are dense but some play smart *wink wink* nice to see the girl squirm for a change, muahahaha!
but yea, Saffy's right... jump into the fray head on. so what if you have concussions from hitting the floor if someone doesnt catch you. pick yourself up and try again... its definitely better than sitting around hoping/waiting..
i agree with you, should just ask him and be over with it. i was in a similar situation and my opinion is...if that guy's worth anything, your gf won't even be in such situation in the 1st place.
For now I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, since he doesn't know what she expects out of the relationship, and while usually kissing/groping is more than "just friends" behavior, maybe his 'rules' are different from hers.
No luck on getting her to ask him though. One day when I finally get tired of her incessant worrying, I'll just play the part of the Nosy Girlfriend, ask him myself and be done with it.
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