Spider legs

This post is specially dedicated to Narrowband, who said I have a tendency to post more pictures than needed. Of course, he said it in a more polite way, but being that I'm the author of previous blogs like this one about mangosteens, I'll have to say, point taken, Narrowband!

Okay, I'll concede that the mangosteen one was really pushing the limits of human intelligence, but at least I was original! *grins*

Anyway, because I'm still in the process of sorting out my thoughts, I decided to continue in the vein of Posts With Useless Pictures, and therefore will be writing an all-new instruction booklet on how to use Veet, complete with pics, exclusively available at 27th & 6th only, whoohoo!

Okay, for the uninitiated, Veet is the name of a hair removal cream, which girls use to get rid of hairy legs so that little frilly skirts look good on us. To those who're blessed with non-hairy legs, I say, very vehemently, "Screw you!!"

THE BOX IT CAME IN. READS LIKE A GAME REVIEW, DUNNIT? :p IGNORE POLI SCIENCE BOOK K THX.

Step one, which is not included in the Official Veet Instruction Pack, is to moisturise your legs before depilating any natural hair from any part of your body. Scaly skin is not pretty to look at. Of course, when I say moisturise, I mean do it an hour or 2 before you start slapping Veet on yourself, otherwise you're just wasting moisturiser.

MOISTURISED HAIRY LEGS, PRIMED FOR DEPILATION.

THE BOX ACTUALLY TELLS YOU TO SQUEEZE THE STUFF OUT IN VERTICAL LINES.

I forgot to take a picture of the spatula that comes with the Veet, so please note the sky blue thingy sitting quietly next to the bottle of Veet in the upper right hand corner of the above pic.

According to the instructions, I'm supposed to spread the cream thickly enough to cover all hair. The box also says DO NOT RUB IN in blue capital letters (as shown), so I suppose it'll be wise to heed the advice.

SPATULA SEZ, "HIYA FOLKS! SAFFRON THINKS YOU'RE ALL BLIND."

Nothing like red to point you to the bull's eye. :)

LEG #1, AFTER PLAYING WITH THE SPATULA.

YET MORE FUN WITH MR. SPATULA. I THINK I'VE BEEN REPEATING SPATULA TOO MANY TIMES, COS IT'S STARTING TO SOUND REALLY FREAKISH.

At this point, I would like to remind users that the box says you should leave it on for five minutes and, again in big blue capital letters, NEVER MORE THAN 10. They should add "...if you don't want to end up with pus-sy (root word pus, okay?) legs." That'll put an unholy fear in the hearts of all estrogen-producing units.

Anyway, I usually take a middle number so I leave it on for 7. I have tough hair. *grins* By the way, this Veet company has got things down to a fine art, cos the box also says DO NOT GUESS THE TIME ALLOWED. USE A WATCH.

How cool is that? :p

HAPPY SCRAPING. KINDA LIKE SHAVING, BUT WITHOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF CUTTING YOURSELF.

After you're done scraping, you haul your ass to the bathroom and rinse off the stickiness so your skin doesn't feel tight anymore. Towel dry and tadaa!, you're now the proud owner of a pair of silky smooth legs ala shoe model.

Personally, I still prefer shaving. Takes less time, I can do it in the shower, and I don't have to sit around with gunk on my legs all the while looking at the clock.

Notes:
Model who generously provided her legs for your viewing pleasure has elected to remain anonymous. Requests for her contact will not be entertained.

If your intelligence feels insulted, I've already warned you in the first few paras, so don't come bleating to me about wasting 5 minutes of your time. :)