Know how people always complain about being short? You know, the "If only I were 8 inches taller I can be a supermodel", or the "That skirt would look soooo good on me if I were 4 inches taller" kinda comments?
Here's a blog from the other end of the spectrum.
Top 10 Reasons Why Tall Sucks:
One: Tall people can't properly fold their legs when they're in a bus, and usually end up with cramps by the time they reach their destination. As luck would have it, they get on at the first stop and get off at the second last. Because KL is famous for nothing if not its jams, that's an entire hour spent in a fucking contortionist's nightmare.
Two: Tall people are expected to perform oddjobs. Can't reach the top shelf? Holler for the resident Yao Ming. Aircon not switched on in classrooms? Resident Yao to the rescue again. Overhead projector not blinking? One look from the lecturer and YM trundles to the front of the classroom to poke at the projector with a ballpoint pen.
Three: Tall people are made to feel fat and unwieldy in clothing stores. Either everyone in KL is really petite (aka, as tall as Shaq's socks), or clothing stores like Comma are really catering for kids. I have never met anyone who can fit into a size S Comma top. Or bottom, for that matter. Snug clothes = sexy. Tight clothes = okay, depending on situation. Wrapping 'zhong' = NOTHX.
Four: Tall people, especially girls, have to put up with other people, especially guys, who like to stare, then veeery subtly glance down at said tall person's shoe, and upon finding that it is a pair of flats, immediately look up at the tall person again with a look of, how do I put this, utter and complete shock, on their faces. Paragraph contains both sarcasm and exaggeration, in that order.
Five: Tall people, especially girls, have to bite back comments like "Yeah, I'm taller than you, Napoleon," when they are being rudely stared at. Move along people, this is not a freakshow.
Six: Tall people are forced to the back of the classroom, and periodically get complaints from tuition mates if they happen to come early and bag a front seat. "Cannot see la", "Huiyo, blocking la, move la Beanstalk."
Seven: Tall people have to endure not-terribly-bright names like Beanstalk.
Eight: Tall people are reminded every day how tall they are. When they meet relatives they see once a year (on CNY) the relatives will go, "Wah, so tall liao. Big girl lor." When they meet someone new, they will invariably be greeted by a "Wah so tall!" response. Even if the new acquaintance doesn't verbally articulate "Wah so tall!", they're thinking it. Facial expressions are very telling.
Nine: Tall people make easier targets for snipers. Don't laugh. How easy would it be for a sniper to shoot someone whose head sticks up above the crowd? Unless you're a lousy sniper, in which case you have no business to be laying a hand on one of these babies in the first place, you wouldn't miss. Headshots would be so easy.
Ten: Tall people can't wear sexy high heels like these, these, these, these and these. Why? See above.
Now you know.
Notes:
Zhong = dumpling made of glutinuos rice and filled with various stuffings. Wrapped with leaves and tied up with strings, resulting in weird protuberances where the raffia is tied tight. Used to feed fish on Zhong festival to prevent said fish from feasting on a dead (circa 1k years ago, roughly) scholar's body.
First top 10 list where I've actually had 10 points to talk about. Must be a record or something.
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11 comments:
hey you point nine is ridiculous yet hilarous. haha!
You forgot one. Tall people have to be careful where they walk into, coz they might knock into a low ceiling or that place where they put the bags in the bus. OK that would make it 11, but...
Well said! But I wouldn't like to be a real shortie either ;p
10) u cant see far when u're in a crowd
9) u get 2 smell others' armpits in a crowd
8) if u're unlucky,u might even get kicked
7) ur frnds cant find u when there're alotta ppl arnd
6) taller ppl need 2 lower their heads when speaking2u
5) u need to tip-toe to fetch something high
4) u wldnt wanna look kiddie when u're actually 30
3) if ure a guy,hard to find short-than-u gf
2) short ppl can b reminded on how short they r too
1) if u're too short,u cant ride certain rollercoasters
and another out-of-topic one: Unless u offended someone, why on earth would your head be targeted by snipers?
lol. u knew there'd be people refuting your claims;p
LOL at no. 8.
tall men have definitely better chances at wooing girls hehehe
So why was that dead scholar swimming with the fishes? You'd think if he was sarmbody they would put him in a proper place.
Haha. Kimberly, are you sure? I have seen 6 footers failed before :p
Well this one sure struck a chord, heheh.
@Nilesh:
Actually, I had more, but they're mostly dirty/petty, and this is a morally-upright blog. Heheheh.
@Bruce:
I desperately needed 10 reasons. :D
My entire blog's ridiculous anyway, so that para's in good hands.
@Bawang:
Aiyer...you reminded me of a very embarassing incident involving an airplane overhead compartment, me and a cute gweilo sitting just behind me. Maybe that's why my subconscious suppressed the memory...
@narrowband:
If you came up with all those in less than 40 minutes I'm in awe. It took me more than that to write my top ten list, heheh.
Snipers are crazy people. They call their hangouts 'nests'. Nests are habitats of insects with big teeth/stinger thingies, like wasps. You never know when one's gonna go berserk and start shooting everything in sight ala the Washington Sniper Duo.
@Iblogme:
Happens to you too eh? Luckily my bro's taller so he's my 'dong jin pai'.
@LcF:
Helmets are cool, especially the ones with the reflective visor thingies. ;)
@Kim:
Unfortunately the same can't be said for taller girls. *cry cry*
Yes, it's the personality that counts. Bleh.
@Foot²:
He commited suicide. Or was dumped in with cement slippers. It's still being disputed. Wait, there was no cement 1k years ago. Erm...go ask mam. :D
Thanks for dropping by, everyone. :)
Ouch got hit on the head too many times to count, low ceiling, low door frame, boat roof (that hurt a lot!). Another low blow is that with your height people keep on expecting you to be good at games that requires that such as basket ball when you can't jump for peanuts!
If I'm not mistaken he committed suicide, Saffy... :)
And yeah, I get the "Oi! Cannot see! Move aside! You think you're invisible ah?!" a lot too. And me already sitting down. So I have to do the sad stuff like bend over my table and such, just because some people are too short. I mean, I'm already sitting. And they still can't see. So ouchies on my back. Either that or I squat or lean or something. :(
haha i know this was back in 2004 and i doubt you guys even get notified that someone posted a comment 6 years later, but im doing a documentary on how it is to be tall in my film studies class and im a 6'7 18 yr old guy... if you have any pros or cons or just wana say something reply to this lmao.
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