The price of progress.

Also known as 10 Reasons Why Handphones Suck. I was gonna write about which one’s better, full, trimmed or completely shaved, but then I realised that I really haven’t canvassed enough opinions on that matter, so it’s about boring phones tonight.

New-fangled ring tones...
...bug the shit out of me. Well, not all, but some of them anyway. It seems like with the advent of polyphonic ringtones every bastard out there is trying to outdo the other in terms of owning fantastic ringtones. The mooing cows and the wolf-whistles are cool the first 10 times, after that, it just gets annoying. The best ringtone I’ve heard so far is a very calming flute music that’s almost in a monotone. Sweet. I love the owner already.

People who talk loudly...
...seem to think there’s some fancy mathematical equation that says the volume of your voice must increase correspondingly to the amount of people who're loitering around you. It doesn’t matter whether you’re at a fish market, in a bus or in Coffee Bean, and it doesn’t matter whether you’re talking about World of Warcraft, how frequent your baby needs a diaper change, or the size of the prick you slept with. Maybe I should start thinking about the premise that deep inside, everyone is really an exhibitionist.

Inopportune ringing of phones...
...is not cool. Seriously, everyone and their maid has a handphone. Even my grandmother has a handphone. It’s nothing to show off, no need to aksi-aksi. There’s a time and place for volume control, and that time and place is in the classroom when the lecturer is talking, in the cinema when the lights are dimmed, in the boardroom when there is a meeting going on. Respect please.

Handsfree kits...
...are not supposed to be surgically attached to your ears. When you’re in a public place where there’re throngs of people around you, please don’t go around talking to yourself. It gives the impression that you’re a) a psycho for talking to yourself, or b) a psycho for having a handsfree kit surgically attached to your ear. Blatantly showing off (flaunting) your bluetooth thingy is generally considered bad form.

Speaker phones...
...are very…erm, actually, my dad has one. *sigh* In case he stumbles onto this blog, and for the sake of my general health I sincerely hope he doesn’t, I’m going to refrain from saying anything too bad about speaker phones. Just, you know, don’t always use it. There’s a reason some conversations should stay private.

Driving while talking on the phone...
...is not advisable. Unless you want me to scream curses at you for not making the turn after the fifth opportunity has passed you by because you were yakking on the phone. Without a handsfree kit. Let’s face it, some people (males) are just NOT built for multitasking, especially if it involves chatting and driving. We girls are more adept at it, since we’re practically born with phones attached to our ears. If you have a problem with the above statement, please don’t ever let me hear anything from you about how a girl can come home from an all-day shopping trip with a friend and then chat on the phone with that same friend for 3 hours. Gross generalisations work both ways, dearie. ;)

I think I’ve just discovered a new use for blogs. A tool for settling personal vendettas. Muahahaha.

Of course, I'm the kind of person who's still using a Nokia 8210, and who switches her handphone off at night when she's sleeping. I'm also the kind of person who cheats when writing top ten lists, if you noticed, cos I never really reach 10.