October 08, 2004

Death by Bigfoot

Hmm...found this hiding in the back of my WIP folder. I'll post it for fun. FYI this was written when RO was only available in Malay.

Proclamation of the night: Things never ever work out right for me. Murphy's Law, altered and adapted to suit yours truly. (more to come on this, when author is in another one of those pesky 'rant' moods.)

As some people (poor sods) have been aware of for several weeks now, I've been playing Ragnarok Online on the Malaysian servers. It was most unfortunate that when I made my thief, I chose a distinctly female name, one appended with the name 'Rose'. (I actually hate the name Rose. Don't ask me why I picked it, because you can probably answer that question better than I can.) At this point certain readers are going to think, 'Ok, so this Saffron person is playing an MMORPG, and picked a female thief, and hates the name Rose. Ok. Get to the bloody point already!'

Righto. The reason I babbled about the stuff on top is because recently, my female thief character has been inexplicably transformed into a male (and an ugly one to boot, you have no idea), complete with a working set of genitals. Hooray for hard-ons. What'll we do without em?

Ahem, anyway, I stopped playing for two days because I needed some time off (Oh, the trauma) and then I decided it was enough slacking off, and I yielded to the powers that force me play games. (yes, even crappy ones like Tomb Raider 4. Or was it 5? I lost track) To cut a long story short, I forged on ahead with my (ugly) male thief and ignored the bouts of snickering other Malaysian players were bound to have experienced when they saw a male thief running around hacking raccoons, with a girlish moniker and wearing a lopsided purple bow on his hair. This is taking cross-dressing to a level never seen before by KL eyes.

And then, for some reason, I got bored. Maybe it was because guys are such uninteresting characters to play in an RPG. Maybe it's because the way they hit the cute raccoons are so...uncute. Maybe it's because they're just plain ugly. Whatever the reason, I got bored. So with a sip of my green tea and a mouthful of peanuts, I went and hacked a Bigfoot that I had absolutely no business in hitting. By the way, there's a reason Bigfoot is capitalised while racoon is not, and that's because Bigfoots are, as the name implies, B-I-G. Apparently dumb as heck too, because it took the brute 7 hits before its paw connected. (me thief, remember? High on AGI, thank you)

Anyway, I died, hence the title of this post thingy.

Some readers who're slightly more lucid then a patch of mildew would be wondering what exactly is the point to this post. The answer to this, and I believe to life as a whole, is that There Is No Point. At least not with me. And definitely not this blog.

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