Right now I’m in a chat with a girl friend, who has gracefully deigned to be named, and I think I just found another soulmate. :)
I have to say, I have a lot of admiration for people who charge headlong into relationships, whether it's romantic, sexual or both.
I’m the kind who calculates the pros and cons of the guy I like, and then do a spreadsheet on the chances of whether the relationship is gonna work or not. Ok, that’s a minor exaggeration there, but that’s the kind of person I am. I walk around wearing my aloofness like a suit of armour. Hmm, I like that corny phrase. *jots down in notebook*
Ok, back to the point.
Different types of people, I guess. I like to think that the relationship I’m gonna get in will at least last a few good years before it goes kaput, cos I don’t like bad investments. On the other hand, it’s more liberating and carefree to stop thinking and just do it. There’s a certain amount of freedom in just winging it when it comes to matters of the heart, and I would like be able to do that, at least once, before I die. Should be very liberating.
Starting a relationship that you just know would never last is the stupidest thing to do in my book, cos I’ll just be setting myself up for a lot of heartache. But then, maybe it’ll make for good memories. If you go into a relationship realising the limits of it, maybe it won’t hurt as much when it ends. That’s assuming I don’t dig myself a deeper hole while I’m frolicking around ‘light-heartedly’. At least there’s honesty around instead of, you know, going behind each other’s backs and disappointing stuff like that.
So many ‘but then…’s, so little time. If only I could bounce back like other people can. I don’t like the way I’m wired.
Note: And in true Saffy style, I already know the name of the tune to play when I'm heartbroken. Sun YanZi's Wo Bu Nan Guo. As if I've even started this relationship already, heheh.
3 comments:
Never understood rushing into a relationship before each gets to know the other, seems like a good recipe for disaster. Haven't believe in love at first sight myself haha. But can't deny it works sometimes but most often not. Anyway you never know what a relationship might lead to unless you take the plunge.
well, the thing is you will never find out all the pros and cons cause people tend to disguise their flaws early in the relationship. it's really a gamble. i say, go for somebody who is hygenically compatible (must!!), can hold a decent conversation and has no hangups about his past. you see, if u analysed too much and things don't go your way (and they always don't), you'd really be heartbroken then.
Well, i have a guy friend who once said that we're all in the dark, trying to find the one. Hesaid:" We should be bold and brave and just put our hands into the hands of the one leading us. Often we're just too afraid of getting hurt that we're hiding from our feelings..." well, I agree up to a certain extent to that, because I still naively believe that there is the ONE waiting that's why I don't want to just bum into anyone and just have some fine moments and that's it. For me, a relationship requires much much more than feeling good...
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