The plight of boyfriends

Sometimes, when I'm out shopping with a female friend or my mom, there'll always be a soporose young male or two populating the very narrow walk area betwen the tweed and denim ra ra skirts and the paint splattered t-shirts.

These are the poor sods who're somehow dragged/cajoled/threatened on pain of no BJs into tagging along for shopping trips with their gfs. (Strangely enough, I don't see a lot of older men hanging around looking bored. Hint hint learn from the old masters.)

Sometimes I pity these people who really look like they'd rather be outside watching a wall of paint dry, but today's post is not motivated by sympathy. Heck no, today's post is motivated by very real annoyance. Mostly I'm annoyed because these men are blocking my path and no amount of tactful throat clearing will make them move their asses. It's hard to squeeze between 2 racks standing perhaps 2 feet apart with a lump of male standing in between them.

Which gets me to thinking, why do girlfriends insist on dragging their boyfriends along with them on *gasp gasp* shoe shopping trips? It's all fine and dandy if your guy's into looking at heels and stilettos, but most of the guys I see standing forlornly around look bored. Extremely bored. Why put another fellow human being through all that misery? Don't you have any other girlfriends you can share the trip with?

Scenario 1: dragging along unwilling boyfriend who'd rather be looking at shiny hardware while shopping for clothes to cousin's wedding. Boyfriend will stand by looking comatose and answer crucial questions like "Which one's better, the pink or the taupe?" with monosyllabic grunts. That's assuming he even knows what taupe is. (Before you start screaming "Sexist statement!" I did an impromptu survey online asking 5 of my male friends if they knew what taupe is and none of them could answer me without checking dictionary.com. So there.)

Compare with...

Scenario 2: going shopping with a girlfriend who, when asked whether this pink lace cami is appropriate for your cousin's wedding, immediately turns around and suggests trying this on for size instead. Now that's what I call a fulfilling shopping experience.

But then that's just me. Judging from the appalling aura of boredom wafting through the aisles in MNG during sales seasons, Malaysian shopping complexes seriously need to think about getting ways to entertain the boyfriends while the girlfriends shop. This has economic advantages, you see, cos a girlfriend with a bored boyfriend will eventually give in to his puppydog whines and leave the shop prematurely, ending her excursion and depriving the store in question of a potentially big-spending customer. However, the most high tech solution in place currently is by placing a few benches on the walk area outside the stores, which is usually hogged by kids dripping saliva all over the place.

You know would be great? A nice little room located somewhere within the vicinity of the main shopping area and equipped with nice comfy chairs (These would be nice) and maybe a rack or two with guy mags. Really gluttonous shopping complexes can go a step further and put in arcade games, computers that can run FarCry at acceptable levels of gameplay and maybe an Xbox or two, and watch the cash roll in as the girlfriends shop in bliss. In fact, I'm willing to wager that it's the guys who'll be threatening their girlfriends with no oral sex if they don't go shopping RIGHT THIS MINUTE HONEY!

What a way to turn the tables. Or, if push comes to shove, maybe we can resort to this. At any rate, as long as my beeline for the slinky black top (no link this time, aren't you happy? :D) rack isn't blocked, I'm happy.