Mystery of the Year

So I was sitting here contemplating a proposal and trying to understand tech jargon, when I heard some faint mews. "Stupid cats mating again..." thought I, and went back to chatting.

Suddenly, I spied something moving underneath my desk. Holy cow it was a freaking cat! Obviously, I made like a dog and shooed it away. The cat pretended to be Zhang Ziyi in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and leaped gracefully into the sitting room and into the kitchen. At least, there's where I think it went, cos it was really too fast for me to see.

Naturally, because I know a cat has claws, I went to hunt for the stick that His Royal Oafness plays with when he gets home from college. Because he's playing Dynasty Warriors (*Cow Pee! Cow Pee!), he likes to pretend he's Guan Yu, complete with whooshing sounds.

In the interests of my general health and wellbeing, I totally made that last paragraph up. I swear. Anyway, I tried to look for the stick, but apparently Guan Yu took it to bed with him, so I am equipped with nothing against fangs and claws.

In ideal circumstances, you want to be wearing thick dog bite-proof pants and a jacket as well as electrocution-proof gloves when you're hunting cats. Unfortunately, I was clad in a Mickey t-shirt and boxers, leaving my legs exposed to the ferocious feline. In desperation, I grabbed a puny little hangar plastic hangar that would do nothing to protect me if the stupid cat jumps at me, claws tracted.

Still, I went into the kitchen to check. I looked on top of cupboards, underneath cupboards, behind the rice container, underneath the stove. Nada. No trace of the cat. I thought maybe it didn't go into the kitchen. So I checked the bathroom, under the sofa, behind the TV shelf, behind the bookcases. Still nothing.

Now, a bit of info. I live pretty high up in a flat, and the doors and windows were all closed (I checked after the cat made like a ninja and disappeared :p). So now I have a few pressing questions.

1. If all the doors and windows were closed, where did the cat come from?
2. If all the doors and windows were closed, where did it go?
   and more importantly,
   
3. Did I hallucinate the whole incident?

Maybe I just need to sleep.

Notes:
*If you get the reference you win a cookie!!